deep within

camy's house

2007-02-22T22:01:00.000Z

another day of my half term,
and i went to camy's
watched flightplan, stoned, exercised on her running machine, ate, football table-ed
took some pics

[left] jing, camy, kae, soph, me [right]

FOOTBALL TABLE!!!

<3

my heart is still beating

2007-02-20T12:14:00.000Z

when i put my hand over my chest,
i can feel my heart beating
i am alive
- aya, 1 litre of tears

watching [. 1 litre of tears .] made me once agen,
realise how small my 'troubles' are

- what's wrong with falling down?
you can stand up again

i feel so useless
i should be thankful that my heart is beating,
and dat i can walk, run, jump
dat i can talk, sing, write,
i can say: "let's do something, go somewhere" as and when i want to
i can study and work
i can eat when im hungry
i can sleep wen im tired
i can laugh and smile when im happy

- don't look at the past,
trying your best now is enough;

seriously, i think i've been thinking too much on the down side of things
i haven't been looking on the bright side as i promised
im sorry.

my heart is still beating

and like aya,
i am alive

2007-02-18T21:43:00.000Z

one litre of tears;

one litre of tears
i really hated it wen i first started watching
i still kinda wished i didn't start watching
but hey, it's quite encouraging (altho depresssing) n makes me learn to smile
after crying 1 litre of tears

anyways, HAPPIE CHINESE NEW YR!!!!
this yrs da year of the pig
kekeke more laziness?
let's go pig-ing around!!
LOL

haha so funny today
i cant believe ppl fell for the same trick sooo many times
me: (pointing in the other direction) "look!!" (poke the person's face)
WAHAHAHAHAHA
everyone fell for it!

so anyways,
a wk of half term ahead
im determined to make da most out of it
im gona get up early, do art in the morning, go to the library to revise after lunch, then get home for dinner.
let's c how it goes shall we???
kekekekeke

what's wrong with falling down?
you can stand up again;

snow

2007-02-13T16:59:00.000Z

YAY finally!
pictures from last wk!!!

jing,soph,kae,trin,boj,me

boj,kae,soph,amy,me,jing

boj,soph,kae,me,trin,amy

i was looking at my shoe???

point of impact
trin got hit!

best snowball fight ever!!
i miss it alr :(

it's like stepping into a dream;

happy bojana day

2007-01-30T21:06:00.000Z

just eat away..... :):)

funny day today.
saw this 30+ lady fight with a bunch of girls on the bus.
was quite funny, except they delayed the whole bus by like so long.
like with the police saying 'do u want to go to court' n stuff
wahahahahaha

yeh, my druggie area :):)

anyways,
HAPPY BDAY BOJANA!!

sunday today

2007-01-28T17:14:00.000Z

there was disciple class for my parents today
so i went to church early with them
printed off the score for 'perhaps love'
the theme song in princess hours (goong)
kekekeke im so addicted!

yeh, i feel so enlightened :P
raymond shokshok explained the debit and credit thing in accountancy to me
FINALLY! i knw wat im doing :):)
im happy.

and the scooby doo toy u get from happy meals ARE DANGEROUS!!!
seriously
this a safety precaution to all: do not get to hyper wen avioding the skull!! n do not lean over too much wen sitting on a chair

pt was gdgd la
everybody came INCLUDING SHIRLEY!!!!!
YAY

and im sorry titus but ur plane was CRAP!
it does not fly straight
n it does hit ppl -.-"

dreams and hopes

2007-01-27T16:25:00.000Z

everyone has their own dream
to be a pilot
to be part of the MI5(kekeke)
to be a teacher
to get find a prince and live happily ever after
to be rich
to change the world

juz the other day
titus asked me what kinda career i wanna hav
i wanted to answer him
but all i could say was 'i dunno'

what does my future include
what job do i want
what do i want to become
who do i want to be?

i used to think that ur dream will come to u
like ur future path would juz land before ur feet
but it doesn't seem to be the case

i better start finding my dream before it's too late

follow my heart?

goong

2007-01-27T11:12:00.000Z

2007-01-22T20:08:00.000Z

yeh not blogged in like a week.
i've started watching Goong(aka princess hours)
korean dramas are soooo gripping :P
yeh basically all u need is a rich guy (prince)
and a poor gal who soon becomes the princess in his heart
awww n as usual theres a pretty, clever, rich gal dat was the prince's fiance was galfren
but he soons realises he does not love her, but that gal will become evil and try to seperate the princess and the prince
yeh, it's da same every korean drama,
but idiots like me still fantasizes on fairytales like these

i wonder sometimes
why cant i be like some of my frenz
elegant, pretty, walk around with an aire abt them
n then u see this girl tripping over every single thing u can find
it's annoying

the princess in his heart;

post exams

2007-01-13T16:50:00.000Z

YAY exams all done n dusted
im happy

ytd went to starbucks with trin
had a nice cup of latte YUM
n we revised maths
ok well, i think we crapped around more :)

then after the last 2 depressing exams
i went marble arch with mum
i bought a me2u bag
n we went chinatown for a BIG BOWL of NOODLES
that's was nice

came home n watched titanic
i love that film
most romantic love story
a guy willing to die for the woman he loved
n of coz leo di cap was so cool(!!!) in dat film :P

yeh, was feeling so bored n empty last night
seeing dat i did not hav any exams to worry abt before i went to bed
so i painted my toenails :P
random i knw
then i was so bored waiting for them to dry
so i read 'an old fashioned gal' agen
i read it so many times
but i can never rmb wat happens >.<"
other than she had the courage to be so different from the society where everyone only cared abt clothes and parties--i admire that courage

anyway
i found an old pic of me n trinny

2007-01-10T20:55:00.000Z

it's HAPPY GLORY DAY!
YAY

haha.

im so tired
just had a whole day of exams
depressing.

haha stole pics of kcyf
kekeke

yummy

BAKE SALE!

o no, still in the making

as chi kin says: ryan stop eating!

abbey jeh jeh inspiring us :P

socks

2007-01-04T21:53:00.000Z

2007-01-01T22:56:00.000Z

new day
new yr
new dream?

yep as usual everyone stays up to countdown
fireworks was so pwetty last nite
even from my tiny tv screen

and as usual u plan to start the new yr doing meaningful things
doing memorable things
taking pictures so u could look back wen ur 50
thinking wah, i had an interesting life back wen i was still young

but as usual i did none of those things
ok well it wasn't all dat bad

went CCC, ate nice food, saw loklok
HE'S SO CUTE chubby babies
went upstairs to yee jair jair's house
played with all the kids
mo liu-ed with pl twiggy titus
yeh well, with so many kids n babies<3 around
there's not dat much u could really do

den after, went to satie yee yee's house
talked to wilson abt random things
waited for dinner
tried to watch spiderman 2 but the dvd player refused to work
continued waiting
stoned

finally ate dinner YUM
my parents continued talking
i continued stoning

yep dat concludes my new yrs day
meaningful and memorable
n from that
a new chapter begins

HAPPY 2007!

useless

2006-12-29T20:43:00.000Z

i guess this is just another post to make this place feel less dead
xmas day is over,
so there's no excuse for me to be lazying around like i am now
i feel so useless lor
haven't done anything

im so pissed off lor
and to top it all off
i hav to get ill
argh so stupid
grrrrrrrr
cant even eat
that's how sad my day is
all i did was sit around watching useless tv
did a bit of bio cw but
I NEED TO FLIPPING FINISH DAT N START REVISION!!!!

i need to get a move on
cant just keep wasting away my life

screams

last xmas

2006-12-26T11:21:00.000Z

HAPPY XMAS my lovely peeps

christmas 2006'
my last christmas spent on this side of the world
i cant believe how unmeaningfully i spent it lor
wat did i do???

i ate
mummy cooked so much nice food lor
and billly, rita, joyce, chee hong, peter came to our house for lunch
well, n dinner coz they stayed for so long :)

i watched i not stupid
it was soooooo funny lor
n LOL billy + dad weren't really getting the jokes
coz the subs were slow for the hokkien n super singlish
hahaha
n as usual the bit where the mum nearly died,
i nearly cried but didn't
coz i didn't wanna cry in front of so many peeps

i watched so many eps of bleach
lol it's so funny
hehe

WAHAY

2006-12-16T00:43:00.000Z

haha it feels like BLOGGING time!!
I AM SO HAPPY!
now that all my geo cw is finished, art exam done n dusted
n omd my spanish mock
WEEEE~~~

im happy n i passed grade 8 lor
i still cant believe it
SHOCK SHOCK SHOCK SHOCK
fragile heart
need to calm down

lol was watching random funny films
love at first sight or something like dat
super random n all i can say is
*sweat*

weeeheeeheeeeeeee
argh im hungry

art

2006-12-02T23:22:00.002Z

that took ages
wingsum is tired now
yawns

loving memory of isra

2006-11-30T20:26:00.000Z

in loving memory of isra

isra
i do not knw her
i do not knw who she is or where she's from
i do not knw what made her so strong
i do not knw what made her persevere
i do not knw what was the reason behind that never-changing smile

a little 12 yr old girl
y cant she hav the chance to experience the fullness of life

maybe being able to sit here and complain abt cw, hw, gcse is a blessing
maybe being able to cry over little pointless things is a gift

and
maybe it's time i start to appreciate life a bit more

no tears fell;

2006-11-25T22:48:00.000Z

天黑黑

我的小时候
吵闹任性时侯
我的外婆
总会唱歌哄我
夏天的午后
老老的歌安慰我
那首歌好象这样唱的
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑
离开小时候
有了自己的生活
新鲜的歌
新鲜的念头
任性和冲动
无法控制的时候
我忘记
还有这样的歌
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑
我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人
我以为这就是我所追求的世界
然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后总有残缺
我走在每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念过去单纯美好的小幸福
爱总是让人哭
让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚
好孤独
天黑的时候
我又想起那首歌
突然期待
下起安静的雨
原来外婆的道理早就唱给我听
下起雨也要勇敢前进….
我相信一切都会平息
我现在好想回家去
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

my grandma used to sing dat song to me

下起雨也要勇敢前进

wonked n dodged

2006-11-23T23:36:00.001Z

it's 23:29
n im tired
BUT
im here
because
after 2 days of devastation
MY INTERNET RETURNED!!
YAYAYAYAY

it's made me v happy
v v happy indeed
weeeheeeheeee
eepeeepeepeee

today is one of my big clumsy days
nearly tripped over
walked into walls, doors n anything u can walk into
frustration grrr
worst of all
wen i walked into that stupid green door
mr economics teacher saw
and LAUGHED
how mean
hmph

haha i swear our skl is so dodged
LOL i luv da word dodged
laughed so much in spanish
mr spanish teacher was like
"most language teachers r either women or GAY MEN"
lol implications eh?

happy sixteenth

2006-11-13T18:02:00.000Z

my world is spinning;

YAY im sixteen!
it's a big age
or according to shirley
it's the legal age LOL

other than doing eng cw
having piano lesson
falling off a window sill<< i thot i was gona die
my sixteenth bday was definitely a happy one :):)

THANKIES to everyone who rmbered my bday<3
lol i felt like someone special
thank u <3

spent my bday with camy soph shirl n trin
we didn't do much
juz sat around the house
EATing
LAUGHing
CRAZYing
DANCing
lol was fun

then on sunday
we had a short PT
then went shanghai restaurant after
singing k was fun
except da same song kept replaying again n again
hehe
shall post some pics wen i find time to upload them :):)

then today,
trin couldn't stop laughin wen i told her abt me falling off da window sill
apparently she found it funny dat someone could be so dumb to risk their life to see fireworks
*embarrassed*
she's so mean
sigh @least camy had some sympathy for me

n now, im feeling so crap
da paracetamol had worn off
so my head n neck's starting to hurt again
=.=
but i shall proceed to work
before i land in a detention agen

ahhh

im loosing my balance;

druggie

2006-11-02T18:14:00.000Z

some say im a drugged

after a few days of intensive paracetamol, throat medicine n various other things
my throat feels much much better (:(:

school's been jus haii
i dunno jus everythin
homework
teachers
deadlines
n *rolls eyes* green

anyways, i had nice soup today
n my mood is happy
n i shall go depress myself now with coursewk
=.=

last monday

2006-10-30T10:50:00.000Z

the praise n worship session was really quite fun!
all went well, other then me messing up the last few songs
but o well. it was my 1st time, 1st time i think piano-ing for the whole worship session
n only messing up at the end is acceptable la
o yea, it so weird i dunno y WT has to turn off the lights
n seeing that i get a bit blind when i get nervous
it wasn't such a gd idea =.=

my sunday morning wasn't dat gd
had a massive arguement n wasn't happy :(:(
but after a long walk down oxford st
i felt better
n i dun think i even sort out much
but i juz felt better
see, being alone is important :)

anyways, praise team was mainly evaluation abt sat night's worship leading
i thot it was ok but we need improve...
woo so gogogo PT
o yea, we also had to think abt PT logos, slogan
things we're gona do @ xmas, in the weeks to come etc.
so haha had a gd thinking session

im still thinking abt how we're gona lead praise+worship in our fellowship nxt wk
haha i'll think more abt PT b4 the cruelness of gcse n teachers jumps back into my life
for now, i'll enjoy my last day of holiday....
while doing some work of coz :P

time flies
and im falling behind

camden art centre

2006-10-26T12:15:00.000+01:00

wooo
today's the 1st time in this wk that i woke up feeling warm!
dont feel the need for scarves gloves socks
n guess wat?
the heating's gona turn on on monday
YAY

went to camden art centre with mum today
laura owens is a really gd painter
hehe im glad i chose her paintings

"Each painting can act as a question" - Laura Owens

then
i, being a gd girl, helped mum carry groceries home
hehe buy 1 get 1 free, buy 2 for $2 - milk, chicken n more chicken

and now, im drinking a nice cup of coffee
whilst hoping my headache would go away

u hav saved our lives we're eternally grateful

2006-10-23T13:05:00.000+01:00

i was gona cook lunch today
but wen i sed "i'd juz add anything random with noodles"
mum gave me this 'dnt be silly' look
afterall she wanted to eat edible lunch lol

we had to get church early yesterday
praise team practice ar
n wooo i was on time!
we had quite a gd practise
juz hope we wont mess up on saturday

i miss my guitar :( :(

glory came seeing dat it was 1/2 term
he's still his usual weird self

we had to leave pretty early to joe yee yee's house
had quite alot of fun actually
oscar is so cute
n tiffany kept bring the soft toys to me n then to other ppl
bils!
had nice food and watched toy story 2
"u hav saved our lives, we're eternally grateful"
lol i luv the 3 little aliens

note to titus: im wingsum JERJER

我的天空今天有点灰

2006-10-16T16:43:00.000+01:00

last wk wasn't such a gd week for me
some would knw why
others wont
dont feel like talking abt it at all
but i guess you're right
it's the past and i should
smile and walk on
(:(:

i spent most of my saturday doing geo and art cw
n yes, it was boring
and i wasn't v productive either so
bleh

i've stopped hating being alone
coz those are the moments when
i can be just who i am
i need not label myself or my actions with anything
i can juz be me
not even berakah or wingsum
just me

我的天空今天有点灰

anyways, im glad pt was much more organised on sunday
sorry i kept running to get sandwiches
i was really really hungry
hehe
and yay! i can play more of qing tian now
wehehehe
o yea just to mention
NERO sells nice coffee!!
baa

grey skies

2006-10-14T18:59:00.000+01:00

天灰- she

如果你不再出现
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁

failure is being successful @ the things dat dun matter

2006-10-08T21:06:00.000+01:00

failure is being successful in the things that dont matter;

it was mum's bday on friday, so we had nice tiramisu cake
YUM i really hope she enjoyed it :)
then went out with mum on saturday
portabello market is really cool
there were so many random things
but i like the food stalls the best
they smell so gd!!

i went to fellowship as usual
made mooncakes
with random bits of chocolate and biscuits
was quite eeky to be honest

today's ming gor gor's last sunday @ kings X
we will miss u ga!!!
hope u hav fun in holland!!

sort out most stuff at pt
that's gd

the fatalistic end;

pt tensed

2006-10-02T17:27:00.000+01:00

there's a time for everything;

i had quite a pretty boring wkend
spent saturday doing random hw
i really should start doing all my work as soon as i get them
i really should

sunday was pretty ok
we did more 'moliu' things at fellowship
lol i like to drink SOUP
nodds
i actually genuinely thot titus likes to eat mushrooms!
n i thot twiggy would prefer jchou music to going to the beach!
n i never knew shirley read jap anime!!
im such a hopeless fren
>.<

o thanks twiggy lending SHE

then we finally had a more proper pt session
i was kinda pissed at the start coz
i mean how long does it take to find the piano n start singing along with the piano????
i mean how slow!!!
lol n it always works, when someone gets pissed ppl tend to realise pt started
*diong faints*
lol then i found sandwiches n became happy again!!

we had a little chat after some singing
somewhere, somehow the atmosphere juz became so tensed
i personally think it's no one's fault
but coz the ways some things were said
n the things unsaid juz kinda made it bleh
maybe it's juz like one of those tradgedies
where the down moments r inevitable
(argh eng essays are haunting me)
anyways, juz keep it in prayers

thanx ryan for walking me half way home!!
n yes shirley, ur umbrella is safe with me
eheee

pizzahut

2006-09-29T21:12:00.000+01:00

when u just cant say it;

we had a half day yesterday
had a nice walk down oxford street
pizza hut-ed

note to titus: i've blogged

eepeepee eepeepee
im a plant that talks
lol trin!!

spanish

2006-09-21T20:52:00.000+01:00

ironic isn't it?
i juz said to work harder yesterday
and here i am wasting my time blogging
sometimes i hav juz hav to admit
i luv doing pointless time-wasting things

i had the most retarded spanish lesson ever!
it was so 'dai B'
seriously
it started out perfectly normal
mr gardiner gave us these fill in the blank sentences
1st question: (translated) monkeys r a different colour to crocodiles
ok slightly weird but nvm
2nd question: i hav a problem. psycological problems
rite then
3rd question: i hav a problem. i dont knw if im a girl or boy
wat!?!?!?!
4th question: normally girls like boys, but sometimes some girls prefer girls
no comment
5th question: bethan has a crocodile and a girl in her room. the crocodile's nice but the girl is horrible
does that mean she prefers the crocodile?????

i'll never look at my spanish teacher in the same way.
disturbed mind

person with no tomorrow;

smiling

2006-09-20T18:46:00.000+01:00

im starting to be in the mood of school
although i still dunno my lessons
lol trinita is really really gd at learning languages
she can say so much in mandarin now
lol she amuses me
ALOT :):)
"u know ur stupid!!"

trinita, jing n me went to sign up for this accountancy thing
not even sure if we're gonna get in
but i hope it'll be fun and beneficial
and juz hope i'll be more hardworking from now on

i really dont know why
but im in a very happy mood today
everything made me smile

smiles :)

heard abt another death of a 16yrold
yet another life
when thinking abt this
my worries become so little
and plus,
in times of worries
GOd will carry me through

i am not alone :)

17th sep

2006-09-18T16:20:00.000+01:00

ehe
saturday had lotsa fun at fellowship
i love that shoe-chucking game
we should play it ALL THE TIME!

thanx paulson for ur books!
never expected u would give them to me for good
thank u so much
i will ask ppl when i dun understand :)

sunday
was funny!
so glad i finished eng cw
then cooked lovely noodles for myself while watching mingdao :):)

had pt like finally!
the bom bom bom YAY in how great is our GOD
omdays it was so retarded
lol o well it was funny
kekekekeke :):):)

then lots of us went to sop
it was fun
but i cant believe they didn't hav any drums
n omd the guitarist was like this multi talented musical person
he was playing the guitar,
then the harmonica,
then the small african drum
haha i wish they had better facilities n sound systems

anyways
titus went to play football when his friend got beaten up by this huge gang
and his excuse was: i didn't know they were beating him up. and he's not my friend.

-.-"

friday

2006-09-15T16:33:00.000+01:00

yay im happy coz it's finally the wkends!
this week went by so slow ar
like everyday took years to finish
esp wed thurs when i hav the last 2 hours of school in physics
im seriously pissed with the rubbishy timetable i hav

few cool things worth rmbering:
>had a couple of nice lunchtimes in the park
>saw lotsa german ppl in the park
>made them think we were weird by randomly saying tschuss
>hit my head while trying to sit down on the bus
>saw spotty dotty(the really cute yr8 gal)
>watched a 10min school play called: my father is my uncle my mother is my sister
>moliu-ed A LOT
>went to bed at 9pm
>learnt to say the f word for latin-american spanish(cogar), which also meant to take in spain

eheeee

simple

2006-09-03T22:43:00.000+01:00

when everything got complicated;

went to church early to practise piano
juz wonder if anyone can actually hear me play
i hope not
i seriously seriously hope no one does

had fellowship today
welcomed the newies
played omd such moliu games!!
lol but they were funny!
ryan: woo that house looks nice!
glory: new blinds for sale!
this is wat u get when u play games to do with newspapers!
hehehe
n that other game when we hav to hold hands n untangle ourselves
was so funny!
nearly everyone had to go through that tiny hole!
good thing we learnt that sometimes we need to let go

was so glad wen fellowship finally ended
was so hungry!!!!!!!
so we kfc-ed
n i thot everyone wanted to buy the bucket together!
n in the end only me n glory did!
so had to choose something smaller
n im so gd at stealing cups!!
even though there was no point in stealing the cups
coz all u hav to do is ASK!

omd glory is so tall!!!
he's 1/2 a head taller than me!!
so is titus n ryan!!!
hmph
o wells im at a reasonble height

thanx ming gor gor for helping me with physics!
o yea, titus has a very cute mp3 player cover!
n i m thinking out of the box!

simplicity becomes a memory;

blogging mood

2006-08-29T10:11:00.000+01:00

had a sudden urge to blog today
it's not even like i hav anything to blog abt
haha

i love 'my' guitar
it's probs nearly the coolest thing i hav
think i understand y some peeps treasure their guitars
like it's their gal/boyfriend
LOL
tuned my guitar this morning
wasn't as disastrous as i expected

ouch fingers >.<

o yea,
i got my results back
n i juz cant believe it's mine!
u would think im nuts if u saw me checking my name, candidate no., my grades
i checked it so many times
im almost a 100% sure it's mine
eheeeeeeeeee
thanks GOD for being with me all the way
i love u GOD

it felt like i've strayed away from ur love for quite a while
i wasn't relying on u
i haven't been talking to u
i was trying to do things my way
i was trying to hide my lonliness by pretence
plz forgive me
haii i do not deserve to be forgiven

ok back to physics

sunday back

2006-08-27T20:27:00.000+01:00

ugly duckling;

i missed my girl-frenz so much
they've changed
new clothes, bags, hairstyles..
da di da dida
turned so pretty
felt ugly
sniff
then again i should be used to that
-.-

was doing random things
talked abt adverts(1 thing that cherry's so passionate abt)
laughed loads
haha we were so 'dai B'
'chi jor jong jai'
haahaa

yay!!!
i get to borrow the church's guitar
the one that,
according to wilson
NO ONE KNOWS EXISTS
so hey
i'll probs get to keep it for as long as i want
YAY!

waiting to turn into a beautiful swan;

summer06

2006-08-26T22:25:00.000+01:00

summer days;

whooh!
there's goes summer
GONE!

had a really gd summer
met up with old frenz
had a few gd chats
went shopping
baby sitted little cousins
met cousins i never knew existed
went swimming
learnt basic guitar chords
went to sop
talked to sandy yu!!!!
bought converse
bought mp3
spent quality time with family

o my wat the

was really touched by the number of ppl that came to send me off
szepui, pris, li ming, sheila
thank u so much for the great times
i really really miss u. loves
changi kids came!!!!
it seems like yesterday
when i was little n they were littler
me, proud to be the big jiejie
played hide n seek, catch
to make them smile n laugh
n now, they're the big jiejie
taking care of the new generations of kids
i miss u

there's so much i wanna say
abt this summer
but it juz seems to escape my mind
wen i wanna plonk it all here
o wells.

home@last

stranger

2006-08-08T15:22:00.000+01:00

my home??

omd im dead tired
but im not going to sleep yet
coz
IM WEARING CONTACTS!!!
the lady was so nice
gave me a pair for free
so im gonna wear until i absolutely muz sleep
haha my mum says i look quite pretty

there are: beautiful lies that soothes the soul

hope that isn't one of them

lol omword

my aunt bought me a pair of converse!!

CONVERSE

i luv them

they're grey n they're cool!

it's nice to hav the 'real' ones for once

met up with my 3 primary sch frenz

pris li ming sheila

it was a bit weird seeing them

changed so much

i missed them so much

thanx for ur earrings!!

hope to go watch a film with them on sat

picked up my cousin n aunt on sunday

o my my cousin's GROWN

in my memory

he's still 5...

but he's 11???

*faints*

i truly missed out a lot

n i mean A LOT

singapore has changed to0 much

it's not the singapore i left 4 yrs ago

it's different

still, i lurve my home

happy earliered-birthday singapore!!!!

im a stranger at home

singapore

2006-07-25T15:01:00.000+01:00

im in SG!!!! yayayayayay
was gonna blog b4 i leave uk yesterday
but guess wat???
my internet DIED!!!!
hmph

anyways
slept for the whole 12 hr journey
lol i really can sleep anywhere anytime
haahaa

so shall blog abt the wkend
saturday was juz packing then
went to fellowship
mum was doing a library promotion
thought it would be boring
but
it turned out to be v diff
n learnt so much more abt my mum
i luv my mummy!! hehe
sunday was funny
was suppose to meet titus at 11
but someone decided to come at half 11??
haii but we did hav a gd practice
then there was a blackout
n there was NO ELECTRICITY at all
so the poor speaker had to SHOUT
hehe we were planning to learn abt the church's mike PA system
but no electricity meant wilson taught us the theory
n theory ONLY
but thankies for trying ur best
-.-"
then we took out the keyboard n guitar
set it up n everything
n EVERYONE left!!!!
poor me n wilson had to pack everything up

so byebye london for a month
i'll miss u
dun miss me too much k?

fruitful saturday vs boring disciple's kids

2006-07-18T22:10:00.000+01:00

why?

it's finally the last wk of
breathing in dust
*sneeze*
last wk has been a gd experience
of the working world
definitely learnt lots
abt how to survive in the outside world
i think im beginning to appreciate school a little more
a very very little more

had quite a fruitful saturday
went cherry, strawberry picking
YUMMY
fell asleep on the train
hav a feeling someone took a photo
hmph >.<
sunday was another experience
children worship
except we're not the children anymore
sigh i never knew a bunch of 20 kids could tire me out so much
when im a mummy, i'll make sure my kids listen n respond
went kfc with twiggy titus henry after
hav no idea wat twiggy n henry were talking abt
blurr >.<
then went to wilson's house later
we stoned
lol coz the interesting 1/2 of the house was not to be disturbed
played monopoly that required no money
i lost, as predicted
took random photos n videos
n wilson, do not call us LITTLE ONES
hmph
o n a little highlight: we locked wilson out of his house
kekeke

i really dunno how to face u
u must hav changed
alot

duusty books hillsongs

2006-07-10T23:06:00.000+01:00

work ex started today
never knew libraries were home to so much dust
*sneeze sneeze*

went to hillsongs yester night
started with
excitement
OMG it's gonna be so gd
YAY finally i get to go
ended with
1 conclusion: 3words:
noisy cool crappy

they r really cool
but i hate that feeling where the drums beat ur heart for u
it is THAT loud
i had to gasp for air
the lady beside was really into the worship
but a bit TOO into the worship
she was singing louder than the drums n dancing
i mean it's gd to not care abt how others look at u when u praise GOD
but i got freaked out
my instincts told me to edge away
o_O

went mcd after
max irene ivy r crazy!!!
"wat is she doing?
laugh at her!!!"(translated)
o my word
so random la
but had fun

wilson was suppose to take care of us 'little ones'
but ivy irene max(who is alr 21!!) hank all got away
wilson: "i feel like a (mummy) chicken
all the little chickens r running away!"
but thanx for taking me home
i agree, kings X is scary at night

so that ends my wkend
n my wanting to go to hillsongs
an unexpected ending
leading to
another week of dusty library books

i've realised that
no matter how many times i call ur name
u will never come;

wang zi bian qing wa youtube

2006-07-06T21:22:00.000+01:00

王子变青蛙-魔鬼草原之戀

王子变青蛙-醫院的吻

王子变青蛙-白鋼琴前的吻

more videos, click on BLUE

weekend

2006-07-04T21:53:00.000+01:00

u said u'll be there;

hav been feeling too lazy to blog
but
da weekend was too FUN to not blog abt!
so here it goes...

friday
went to twiggy's cherry's
WOW!
so many ppl
n yet they welcomed me like family
touched*
THANK U!!!!!!!!!!
n happy bday to pamela yee yee!!!
we had lotsa fun!
n ate lotsa nice food!!

saturday
went out to lunch
went shopping a bit
watched tv
then spent the rest of the day on the computer
looking up celebs in hk
n looking at variety shows on youtube
lol youtube is defo the most illegal site in the world!
but IT ROCKS totally!

prank called ppl
late at night
lol thank u TWIGGY n CHERRY
i had lotsa fun!!!!!

sunday
went church
had such a huge bag with me
n to top it all off
paulson kindly rmbered to bring me a huge pile physics bks
n VERY KINDLY took his bag back
so carried the huge pile everywhere
n looked like a real saddo -.-"
sorrie la. i m v grateful, PS gor gor
ahhhh fell asleep in fellowship
n NO ONE WOKE ME UP!
ho embarrassing ar
*guilty*
went BBQ after
went by coach
gd thing ivy irene were there
lol ivy dun get so hyper
only PS walked past!!!
haahaa
poor max had to carry my books for me
thank u anyway
went on the obstacles things with pei ling
then went rowing n rowing
argh so many little kids came on our boat
n OMG WE CAN ROW V WELL thank u v much
lol didn't eat alot not sure y
then went on this big weird boaty thing
with irene ivy wilson hank max
was quite fun
sorry hank for splashing u
im very very very sorry
u should hav splashed me back

wahahaha i screamed so much
that my voice was weird when i got home
lol i was in a screaming mood
eek >.<

but u neva came;

王子变青蛙

2006-06-27T21:50:00.000+01:00

i miss u;

hav been watching
王子变青蛙
(the prince who turned into a FROG!)
it's so super romantic
n FUNNY
aww
i shalll wait for my 茼蒿 to come n save me
*smiles*

feel much better
some tears can really be swallowed down

today is really a random day
really really really random
hehehehehehehe
*pig face*

haii back to physics
wah~

我相信因为
这样比较幸福

helpless

2006-06-25T23:09:00.000+01:00

sometimes i wish u would come n save me;

so many things hav happened
so many things beyond my control

juz feel so helpless
knowing someone u love is sick
yet all u can do is sit there
with a big oceans
with me in the other side of the world
with me, no money, no power
i can do nothing but sit there

it hurts
although im sure it hurts their family even more
one thing to learn
nothing is a 'must'
feeling hungry n being able to eat is grace
waking up knowing u can wait till tmr is grace
being able to relate to others
being able to walk, sit, sleep, talk, cry
it's all one word

grace

dear GOD i place it in ur hands
wat i cant, u can
u will never forsake me or them

but i know u will neva come;

why

2006-06-19T16:38:00.000+01:00

why?
why did u pretend?
why didn't u juz say u dont like us?
afterall,
it juz meant we're too different
too different to be friends
i knew we weren't going to be great frenz
but was being juz frenz even too hard?
and now
everything's juz gone horribly wrong
all those smiles
all those laughter
were all juz a mistake
all that fun
all those lunchtimes
were juz pretence

u didn't say it to me
but u juz had to make sure it was loud enough for me to hear
how can u be so rude?
i mean HOW??
at least say it behind my back!
it juz hurts
n the way u treat her
juz coz we 'click'?
now she torn between 2 of us
how could u be so cruel?

it juz too sudden
1 min we're all frenz
now
i dunno wat to believe

i should hav believed my instincts
but i believed u
n it was all juz a

terrible mistake

HOT

2006-06-12T19:37:00.000+01:00

the sun will always shine-
think that's why it's so hot!!!

it is so hot!
32C to be exact!
i mean as a singaporean, i really should be used to this weather
but sorry i jus cant take it anymore!
I NEED AIRCON
-.-"

life's suddenly been really carefree(lol)
exams over hehe
o no *bish*
i forgot all about my coursewk!!!
so it's, depressingly,
more coursewk for me!
but *kekeke* no worries
im not stressed
cos im juz not bothered
:P:P

lol it's super amusing at school todays
there was a powercut in science!!
i mean obviously the school hasn't been paying their bills!
lol everyone was cheering cos that means less time to work
n then there's trinny
stressing
cos she's worried the powercut would make all the stuff on her memory stick will get deleted
coz she didn't get to remove it safely
n then she made me get stressed abt my work
coz i didn't save any of the work i did in the lesson!
n it's coursewk as well!!!
wahahaha~ n then i rmbered
i didn't do anything in the lesson!
so the moral of the story
DUN DO WORK!!!

shall blog abt sat as well
i know this is getting too long
stop here if u cbb
saturday
lol went to trinny's house
cos it was her bday last last friday
trin's sis is so sweet!
lol she must be really cute when she's a baby
*awwww* chubby chumchumchum *awww*
n it's really cute how her parents prepare the little cakes n balloons
*awwwww*
tennis-ed, badminton-ed, football-ed, twister-ed!!!
LOL had fun
except the neighbours got really pissed
cos we were making ahem too much noise
lol then bus-ed to fellowhsip
so happy to see my gal frens!
henry i swear u said u weren't staying for dinner!
n sorry if the basketball hit ur head. SOWWIE >.<
sunday
lol we're the anti da vinci code!
wahahaha i haven't even read the bk yet!
but i will! thanx titus!
hehe i rmbered to send maths signals!! LOL
PT was gdgd
starting a bit rubbishy but ended good hehe
toby! ugly ducklings will always become beautiful swans
so i will become PWETTY when i grow up(hopefully)
u watch!!!
went to see a musical after
paid only $6
but we were given a $41 seat
felt like royalty
haha yup im a princess!

im a princess in disguise
where's my prince?

exam doone!

2006-06-09T20:09:00.000+01:00

God will make a way;

ok this is a direct copy from my xanga post

WEEHEE!! i finish all my exams this yr! finally! wow! im happy!! yayayayayay!! (moment of joy) YAY!!! im sooooo happy! wow! i've got 3 n 1/2 gcses!!! yay! hopefully they're As or mmm even A*s!! haha if i get a C, i'll juz rip that bit of paper off!!! lol. o wells, at least i wont know the truth until august!

i feel kinda accomplished, if u get wat i mean. like i've been working so hard(well not really), n like having self-control(for once!!) n juz trying not to loose steam towards the end. it's actually juz quite hard for me! it's like a marathon(trying to use metaphoric descriptions if u haven't noticed) n i juz get so bored n tired towards the end. i haven't finished the race...but wat i've learnt so far is: NEVER SAY NEVER! esp. when u've got lotsa great frenz beside to give u a push!!! lol

thanx trinny sooo much! wat would i be without u!! lol german pals forever!! n thanx titus for ur chinese n french-german signals!! i caught every one of them!! lol n thanx shirley for ur chinese signals!! they were really GENG!! n erm thanx all of u who prayed! n last be definitely the MOST-- thank u GOD!!! u were with me all the way!! thankies ^^

beyond my wildest dreams;

no turning back

2006-05-28T21:46:00.000+01:00

smile and walk on

for some reason i thot of my fren
one that was v brave in facing cancer
one that had so much hope for tmr
one that knew he had to cherish every moment he has
each new day was a bonus
i didn't really know him well but
i've talked to him
that was enough for me to feel that sense of lost

i was juz thinking if i were the one that met an uncurable disease
i wouldn't be that strong
i would complain
i would blame GOD
maybe my faith is juz too fragile

watched a film yestday
'wait till you are older'
that was the title
very awakening film
a child hating every moment of his life
bcos he believed his dad caused his mum's death
he hated his stepmum
he hated his dad
he hated everyone
well not gonna tell the story here
but the message of the story was:

life is a journey full of decisions
path leading onto path
but sometimes once u've made a choice
a mistake
there's is no turning back
u can only keep walking down the road
all u can do is to face reality n keep going
dun waste time brooding over the mistakes
learn from it n walk on
cherish wat u hav left
dun waste another day
dreaming of the impossible
sometimes life's juz too short to waste even jus a min
live like u will die tmr
cherish every bit of today

dear GOD
grant me
the serenity to accept things i cannot change
the courage to change things i can
and the wisdom to know the difference

regents park

2006-05-19T23:46:00.000+01:00

u see we had to cheer ourselves up after that horrifying experience of EXAMS!!!
regents was the perfect spot!
flowers
ducks
sunshine
BLUE SKIES ^.^
(not to mention the shocking amount of flies n spiders)
me: PEACE!
trin: NO!! put ur hand DOWN!

CHEESE ^^

me: shh!
camy: did u juz take a photo?!?!?!?
me: (shakes head) no.....RUN!

me: see i told u im taller!
trin: i dun care!

yup ur right!
we were being REALLY RANDOM!

dun be scared
no matter wat happens
the sun will always shine^^

tired

2006-05-19T16:42:00.000+01:00

hold me close
let ur love surround me;

i've been wanting to blog for some time noow
but i juz couldn't found the words i wanted to say

think it's mainly the stress from exams
the expectations
the lack of time
lack of sleep?
im even starting to dream abt exams
exams exams exams
exams exams exams

"it's ur gcse. u hav prioritise ur time"
dun teachers know we hav 10 other gcse to
ahem prioritise??

i really feel like blaming the school
why do they hav to hav such stupid exams schedules
sighsighsigh
i should hav known
i should hav dun more revision
when i had the time
it's my fault
but

-.-"

im sorry im juz tired
really tired

here i am to blog

2006-05-12T23:20:00.000+01:00

girl of little faith-
im learning!

YAY!
my first week of exams is O-V-E-R!!!
but guess wat?
another row of gcses coming up
in juz 1 week's time!
so need to study AGAIN
but for tonight
im gonna stay clear of work
well, i'll try
>.<"

oo oo
i can finally swallow capsules!!
wow!!! the great things u learn when u get ill!!
i managed to swallow a HUGE capsule!!!
okok, fine it wasn't that HUGE
but still i can swallow capsules n tablets now!!
i know im a slow learner but heyhey
late, better than never!
n i realised how much courage n faith
is needed to swallow 1 capsule
u hav to keep telling urself
"it's small enough"
"i wont choke"
"my throat is wide enough"
"it will go down"
"i can do it!!!"
so much faith juz to do a tiny thing!
i suppose this applies to basically anything really!
when u look back,
u realise how little courage n faith u had
haahaa
o.O

with faith-
i can do anything
i can swallow a capsule!!!

exams

2006-05-11T11:52:00.000+01:00

im gonna laugh all i can, while i can

in this crazy time of exams exams exams
im actually surprised to find so many amusing things!

1. trin nearly fell over AGAIN, gosh her face wahaha
2. there was this HUGE pile of poo on the floor.
3. n there was evidence of someone slipping over it
4. amy's allergic to spiders
5. bils!!!!!!! i luv BILS!!!!!
6. I LUV chubby chum chum chum chum chum chum n a hole!!
7. dinge (ding-er) = things in german
8. i hav such a sad life
9. i hav a cold
10. im going crazy
11. i luv taking pics!!!
12. i LUV BLUE SKIES...
lol this is soooooo random!

dun hold grudges,
u never know what will happen tomorow;

8thmay

2006-05-08T17:04:00.000+01:00

exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
exams exams exams exams exams
-.-"

i'm tired;

kentucky fried chicken

2006-05-01T11:04:00.000+01:00

the miles between us;

yesterday was funny!
ate KFC lol
n pei ling i said bucket!!
not watever u thot i said
lol it's funny though
i want to be free
bu zai liu lei
YAY!
our action ying dee
went to shanghai
so sad twiggy cherry glory couldn't come
we had a tiny table
but it was better than sitting with all the adults
sang k
quite fun la

HAPPY BDAY TWIGGY!
luv ya twin!

i can't reach;

sleep

2006-04-29T10:32:00.000+01:00

tower of refuge n strength;

SLEEP!!!
haven't had enough of that for quite a while
the past week was juz too damn packed
with coursewk exams n trips(??)
haahaa
im glad it's ova
i'll never hav to touch ict coursewk in my entire life again
im happy
*smiles*

BAA
im gonna sleep as much as i can
need to re-charge ar!!
well fellowship topic later: stress
so i guess that will be pretty relevant to me!
seeing that when im stressed i start getting clumsy
walked into the walll,
tripped over someone's foot,
nearly fell into the bin
who knows wat i'll do next!!!

the art exam went fine actually
although the shell didn't dry out as nicely as i hope it'll be
but it's not too bad for a first time
so well done me!!

btw,
HAPPY BDAY twiggy!!!
ur 14 *OooooOOoooOOO*
teehee juz enjoy it!

was watching aqua heros
they hav really nice haircuts!!
n this kinda struck me
to put others first
to not focus on myself
then i'll focus less on my own problems
think it'll help me be a happier person
i mean WWJD
hmm didn't think i'll get this from watching tv
heehee

i've found rest in U;

baa

2006-04-23T18:20:00.000+01:00

BAA
dead worried abt art exam this wed
AHHHHHHHH
thanx rani for helping
n thanx angel for lending me the pens
o goshy gosh
im worried
i cant paint
let alone paint a shell in 5 hours
but i will try
who knows wat it will turn out to be
LOL i dare not imagine

this week ar
was ok
other than the GREEN
i nearly forgot how bad it was
green stairs
green corridors
green books
green doors
green uniform
green floor
ok i think u get the idea
trinny had the nicest haircut in da world
im jealous -.-"

wkend was erm
quite cool ba
fellowship was funny
the yellow screen n how we had to bend the wire
to make it normal again
n the 'low teen' thing was funny
oo yay!
im growing tall!!!

today juz normal
lesson was funny
erm erm yea
praise team was ok
sorry im so unorganised
i will do better next time
the talk after was ok i guess
we sorted most things out
but somehow it still felt a bit strange
maybe i was juz hungry
im still hungry
>.<

oo FOOD!!
gonna go eat now
tata

nothing compares to the promise i hav in U;

school

2006-04-21T19:01:00.000+01:00

honestly,
there's so much going through my head
exams
ahhh...bdayz!
coursewk deadlines
field trips
blank
GCSEs
pre-mocks
friends
...

juz so much i need to tell
but somehow
it's juz locked up inside me
wish i could juz spill it all out to someone
but
who??
n how??

pics

2006-04-18T12:44:00.000+01:00

i'll miss u;

today marks the END of holz
time flies real quickly soon
everything be gone
maybe that's wat pictures r for
to hold on to time;

ashburnham place

twiggy+ pei ling

KT: yummy youghurt

twinz 4eva

toby+rebecca-ying??

praise team in spring camp

cheese >.<

yo wassup

talky talk

worship team

discussion??

camp fire- the sparks were pwetty

that's all.
shall post if i find more.
tata.

missing u already;

spring camp 06

2006-04-17T13:55:00.000+01:00

and my heart will sing
how great is our GOD

heehee
this easter hols is nearly over
big SIGH
-.-"

spring camp was cool
although it juz felt different
we did everything we wanted(almost)
but it juz didn't feel the same
the cup noodle party felt strange
the TT playing felt weird
even pool didn't seem that fun
it juz wasn't the same anymore
BUT
overall it was gd
the activites were quite fun
other than NO free time
the film was juz hilarious
esp the 'which way is heaven?' bit
LOL
pei ling went mad with strepsils
along with a few others
our healthy eating message was juz TOO RANDOM ar
sooooo random
n the eating competition was juz FUNNY
that funny guy that stuff the whole orange in his mouth
wahahahahah XD
o gosh n the 0745 exercises
i was still half asleep at that time
so sleepy ZZZZzzzz
lol we got out tshirts like finally
signed them
KT was famous for her 'yut dok see'
n ricky is juz tooo pro at drawing
i luv the bunny n mashimaro on my tshirt
n shirley went crazy with 'the best bathroom book in the world'
she nearly bought it
we STOPPED her.
phew >.<

juz wanna say a big THANK U
to all 4 mentors
it must be really hard to handle a bunch of us
thanx for the time n effort
appreciate it.

the worship team session was gd
at least it was gd enough for a first time
enjoyed it
worship is not juz abt having great music
cool guitars n amps
coz we had none
i guess it;s juz abt the heart
that's wat counts
yea!
n i guess it leads back to the message
it's not juz abt the worship on stage
but in our everyday lives
touch lives
connect with ppl

to the ends of the earth;

i could sing of ur love forever

2006-04-09T20:35:00.000+01:00

let us be...
let us be...
let us be...
let us be ONE VOICE

this wkend was probz one of the best
saturday.
woke up kinda late
but was feeling hardworking
*smiles*
lol so did some hw
b4 leaving house @ abt half 11
so we took a bus from church
all the way to angel
n guess wat???
the pizza hut was a delivery one
so we walked
n walked
then took bus to
i hav no idea where
o yea, near chinatown la

so ate pizza
poor titus
lol he asked kt out
to...the SALAD BAR!!
lol cant stop laughin
n kt all that stuff abt sauce+sauce
so funny la!!
n note to peggy: it was refreshner!!!
lol watever la

had pt practice
quite funny
other than wet hands!!!

fellowship
omg la
the thing abt killing 42000 ppl was juz jokes!
wat conveyer belt thing
n 'sun yao see'
lol

sunday ma
got up early
tuition
i wasn't late!
*beams*
n i rmbered my paper n pens!
*more beams*

lol the practice b4 worship was gd
n watching the video juz makes me LAUGH
worship leading was cool
enjoyed it very much
it was a gd session
hope we did get the message across

evaluation was interesting
n YUMYUM!!
the cookies were YUMMY!!
im quite excited abt the new 15 min song lead practice
i think it'll be cool la
the actions was juz the best!!
we rock!!!!!

n can u believe it???
IT'S SPRING CAMP IN JUZ 2DAYS!!!
cant wait
cant wait
cant wait
CANT WAIT

o n
get well in time for spring camp
GLORY DEE DEE!!!

painting freezing time

2006-04-06T14:31:00.000+01:00

BAA
im slacking again.
yes, again.
hehe ^^

hav u looked at the sky yet??
it's so BLUE
+ the sun's shining so happily
it's really really pwetty
really
i believe GOD is a v gd painter
the blue
mixed with the yellow from the sun
DIDN'T turn green!!
it's juz blends!!!
i hope GOD will teach me how to paint
maybe now
or in heaven
dun matter
but hopefully
one day
i will be able use paint to keep wonderful memories
to freeze time

the sky's so blue
it juz makes me smile :)

ordinary day

2006-04-03T17:16:00.000+01:00

it's weighing me down;

today is one ordinary day
everything i did was normal
other than
looking like a total saddo with bladder problems!!!
helped my mum buy 24 toilet rolls!!
juz coz it was buy 1 get 1 free
i mean honestly
i think the grannies look cooler than me!
-.-"

shall start working
add oil ar!!
moooo...

im fallin' behind.

one unit

2006-04-03T00:11:00.000+01:00

one unit;

got home really late todayz
mainly coz we went to dinner with my mum dad's frenz
somewhere in greenwich la
the food was nice
but i was a total LONER
-.-"

today's practice was gd, i guess
one of the times when we were singing
one voice
i juz felt my eyes water
that, is wat we all UNITY
that, is truely wat ONE means
i rmb the first practice
it was rushed
very unexpected as well
but when we stood there,
in a circle
holding hands
that was the same feeling i felt
the amazing grace from GOD
to be able to stand together
to praise him as a unit

it's cool
ubercool

unity;

love

2006-03-31T17:05:00.000+01:00

the greatest love??

today
is the memorial service for the 6th form girl
an end to the 17 years
plz GOD
plz comfort the hearts of those who loved her

sometimes i really wonder if GOD really loved us
y did GOD let such a terrible thing happen to a girl
when those stupid idiots r bombing the streets
her family, her friends, those who loved her
GOD loves us.
i know.
but those that mean HE loved some of us more??
we all deserve to die as much
we all deserve to suffer in the never ending fire of hell
but
some ppl never got the chance
some ppl never will.
is this wat u called an unfair world?

im sorry GOD.
am i just being stupid
coz im using my little crappy brain to
try n understand ur big wonderful plans??
i really dont know
GOd isn't like this
but why??????

loved? love?
does HE still love her???
a girl ready for cambridge
a girl ready to face all the challenges
a girl ready for any hardships for her dreams
she will never fulfil them.

why?
why?
why?

i still dont understand
i dont think i ever will;

death

2006-03-28T16:32:00.000+01:00

hold me close
let ur love surround me

decide to blog todayz
i seldom blog 2 days in a row

todayz is a unique day
gd or bad
i cant decide

had cross curicular
the whatif company came
got to go out of school
did lotsa activities
laughed lots
had lotsa fun.......?

well @ least we were OUT of school#

ehhh

then
as soon as we stepped bak onto school grounds
we heard that
a gal in 6th form died of brain tumour yesterday
a life GONe
juz like that

it juz really struck me
like how im gonna live if i know i were gonna die tmr
it juz brought bak memories
bad n good
my mum
my dad
my family
my friends
the bombing
jasper
my uncle...

to learn to die is the way to live

mum's day

2006-03-27T16:30:00.000+01:00

let us be one voice
in LOVE n harmony

yesterday was kinda cool
in fact
sundays r always cool
teehee >.<

HAPPY MUMMY'S DAY!!!
luv ya lots mummy!
thank u
for those sleepless nights when i was ill
for ur patience when i was being difficult
for cooking soup every night
for being there for me
for laughin with me
for crying with me
for listening to my problems
and letting me listen to urs
thank u mummy
for being my mum
thank u for loving me
i love u too mummy

sunday skl was gd
ask A LOT of questions
i think everyone got a bit annoyed
sowwie

poor titus n annie wong
it was funny though.
wahahahahaha :P

praise team was cool
had lotsa fun
really feel that we meant the words when singing them
thank u GOD for letting me praise u
thank u so much
if i never knew U
i would hav never feel the joy i found when praising U
thank U
and thanx danquan for teaching me with such patience
i shall practise hard
i dunno if i will be good enough
but i'll try
promise >.<

n erm
thanx wilson for the cd
it's uber cool
very very cool.
thanx

and we pray O GOD
grant us unity

i want to be free

2006-03-19T22:14:00.000Z

but when the world has seen the light
they will dance with joy like we're dancin' now

so happy todayz
dont know where all this joy came from
i suppose it's joy from GOD
a special gift from GOD
the gift that comes from praising HIM
had so much fun during praise team today

we were all on time :):)
n realised how much i've learnt from everyone
every single one of u
to juz laugh n sing
y all the complicated things?
y brood over the mistakes?
when u could juz laugh, learn to forgive others, ourselves
n smile and walk on
esp when we're praising GOD
the simple joy
the smiles
that speak so much louder than words
to always be united
to always be there for each other
to always try with faith--*
thank u guys!!
u truly r my GOD-given angels

let us be one voice in LOVE and harmony

could really feel the unity and passion today
whether the others will be able to feel will be something we need to work on
but at least
i know
we know
it's there

i want to be free
自由的飛

joy

2006-03-12T22:24:00.000Z

YIPPI. im happy.
been laughing so much these days.
i believe it's real joy from deep within.
not laughter that's masking sorrow.
and im grateful for that.

saturday
cool day
had lunch with mummy's frenz
talked to twiggy on the phone on da bus.
poor her. she seemed REAL bored.
got home, did some work.
then left for fellowship at abt half 5
did cleaning up and moving stuff from the kitchen.
so glad i was of SOME help :):)
had a mixture of kfc, chopchop, and some other random food 4 dinner
didn't eat much coz
I KNOW mummy left some soup for me
THANX MUMMY
Oo. there were really nice cakes.
ricky's mum, fluffy made them
YUM YUM YUM
and ming gor gor n peter sok sok r so nice!
sent me home!

sunday
erm
today
was planning to practise my piano
but titus, glory, paulson, pei ling
came so early
was too embarrassed to practise piano when ppl r watching
prefer to play alone :):)
so was talking with them abt random stuff
hehe so funny!
then escpaed from choir
WHOA! glory's laptop is so cool!!!
and the videos were sooo funny!!

sunday school was gd.
i still think it's kinda sexist.
i still dun understand.
i guess i need time.
and GOD's help.

praise team was really cool.
thanx danquan for helping out!!!
he's sooooooooooo funny.
the shouting bit was super funny!!
nearly died laughing.
those actions rocks totally!!
hahahahahahaha

twiggy, howz ur ankle??
get well soon OK??
loves*

left over right hand
left over right hand
left over right hand
left over right hand
left over right hand
when will i eva rmb???

stop lying

2006-03-02T21:32:00.000Z

haii
not a v gd mood today
AGAIN!! u may say
yes, again.

juz b4 u label me as 'depressed'
i would juz like to say
im not depressed
im quite happy today
laughed a lot
messed abt with my frenz
but
wen im alone
i began to think
and that's wen my day wasn't so perfect

realisation?
or juz plain stupidness?
clueless.
i'll present my case
and u can be the judge

maybe the world isn't so scary
maybe ppl these days aren't so conscience-less
maybe the ppl i hate
aren't so hateful?

maybe all this time,
i've been exaggerating
lying to myself
persuading myself
that there enough reason to hate...
to hate that person
i've only looked in the perspective that I KNOW,
will lead me to hate her even more
will make be believe that i was right to be angry
will make me believe i hav every reason in the world to hate

but i was WRONG
or....
was i not wrong?

all i know is,
i wasn't right either

maybe the person i hate dun even exist
maybe the person i hate is juz my imaginary
im juz hating parts of the person
the bits that i hate
not HER ....?

maybe i am i the person i hate
becoz i cant bring myself to say she's better than u berakah ho
becoz i cant bring myself to say
she's right and ur wrong
too afraid to admit that all this time i was blaming the wrong person
too afraid to admit that i was wrong
too afraid to admit I SHOULD BE FOUND GUILTY

and now,
i think i know
I THINK
if i were the judge
i declare berakah ho as
GUILTY

2006-02-26T21:55:00.000Z

yay cant wait till school...
cant wait to fill my mind with new things...
blah blah blah
stop lying to urself wingsum
-.-"

haii...
always dreading to go to school
why?
no idea really
learning should be fun!!!
it is BUT it's not
strange
haii WTH la,
ok i dunnno wat im on abt
im CONFUZZLLED

anywayz,
today was cool
last week's worship leading has defo made an impact on praise team
i think :):)
we started thinking more deeply abt direction and our goal
yes, our ultimate goal is worhsip GOD, and GOD alone, with unity and love between us
but i guess it's time, we think abt wat we want to acheive as a team...
anywayz, will keep praying for a music mentor to guide and teach us how to use our musical skills to worship GOD.

lol today's praise team was so funny
everyone was soooooo hyper
laughed so much
the actions were so COOL
cant stop laughin
wahahahaha~
and those videos are so jokes!
ming gor gor hurry up and upload them la!!
lol

haii...
shall continue *ahem* looking forward to school
coz i juz simmmmmmply cant wait
*coughcough*
yea rite
-.-"

wwjd?

2006-02-18T10:51:00.000Z

nearly the end of my half term
quite crapppy but when i think abt it
i guess i've learnt some not-to-be-missed lessons
lessons dat will help throughout my whole life

i guess i've start to think abt my actions, my thoughts(think abt thoughts?? lol)
only juz started and i've realised how annoying i was, how childish, how stupid i was
not only did i make myself unhappy
i made those i care abt, those i love unhappy
so thanx to my dearest PRIS
i've decided
im gonna change
hoffentlich for the better
learn from lessons
dun look back
BUT
smile and walk on
n alwayz keep this LITTLE but GREAT help
WWJD

also,
yesterday wen i was walking home
i saw a lil kid accidentally let go of his balloon
the balloon juz started floating and flying upwards..
it wasn't gonna stop
till it pop
i guess im like a balloon
all i want is more and more freedom
but i really dunno how to handle all the freedom im getting
so i POP
simple really
so, from now on
im not gonna fight to go out
argue to go out
i shall respect my mum's decision
as to when and where im allowed to go
again WWJD??

this half term
defo not all happy and smiley week
i was angry
i was annoyed
i was stressed
by many reasons,
frenz, parents, STUPID german cw (which i finally finished ^^)
when i think back,
maybe my half term would be much better
if i chose to let go
if i chose to be positive
if i chose to think WWJD

so today,
brand new day
WWJD WWJD WWJD
(:(:(:

2006-02-13T11:41:00.000Z

yippi!!
half term @ last!!!!
today only juz started for me...
seeing dat i ONLY juz got up!!!
im such a pig
oink oink
-.-"

saturday
went to chinatown
so cool!!!! thanx mummy!!!
yum char...ate siew mai!!!!
ho ho sek ar!!!
then mummy took me to an artshop...
bought so much stuff coz everything was on sale...
so now im fully equipped for art gcse!!!
then went to fellowship
slightly strange...
talking abt BGR
nothing to do with me
so pointless...
n i missed the singing as well!!
haii >.<

sunday
went to tuition...
so sorry la ming gor gor
im such a pig...
tuition starts at 10...n i got up at 10...
*embarrased*
then randomly practised some songs with titus...
he is getting too pro at drums...
BUT
no worries..
im improving too!!
*smiles* ^^
one day...one day titus...
i will be very pro too...
LOL i wish

then had kids choir
quite gd
cherry!!!!! thanx for helping me!!!
SHINE JESUS SHINE!!!
ur really gd!!!
proud of u *smiles*
then sunday school
it was actually really gd
i actually learnt alot
coz i was listening hard and writing notes...
to me...i thot it was time well spent
dear GOD plz help me to continue be quiet in lesson time
to be silent and leave room in my heart for UR words
plz continue to help me to keep my focus, whether in fellowship, choir, sunday sch or in praise team...
plz GOD...coz without U i m hopeless and helpless....in JESUS name i pray.......AMEN!!

then PT, it was gd
i thank GOD that i could go up to janet and ask her politely and calmly...
without the hatred i had a couple of weeks ago
n i hope one day i will be able to accept her...for who she is
GOD is always listening
wen we prayed for HIS guidance and direction
billy came to ask us if we wanted to join him nxt sunday in worship leading
all i can say is
it's truely GOD grace
thank U GOD
and of coz thank u billy and ming
for always for being there to guide us
n of coz
IM FOREVER LURVING MY PRAISE TEAM!!!
U GUYZ TOTALLY ROCK MY WORLD!!!!
we will work hard together...
i worship our GOD with all that we hav
and worship him with a pure heart and mind
GO GO GO

then went to shanghai restaurant
sing K
quite kl la
except i didn't know half the songs
so i was kinda extra...hehe
omg glory!!!!
u r too tall!!!! u better stop growing ar!!!
make me feel so short....sigh
lol n we kinda flooded henry's cup
lol....n GO twiggy and cherry and kt!!!
u guyz r really gd at singing!!!

so it was a cool day
great start to my beloved half term...
n if anyone bullies u
go to the bullybox!!!

smileandwalkon

strange sunday

2006-02-05T22:03:00.000Z

phew :)
yet another week
GONE

was so ill on fri and sat la
it's been ages since i've been so ill
haii..it's not fun at all...
couldn't move my head coz i would get dizzy
so basically juz sat there...
n slept
n stoned
-.-"

aiyah
today juz passed so quickly
i was like blur most of the time....
strange.
seeing that ming already told me the itenary for today
it's strange dat i was still so blurr
fellowship was kinda funny.
kinda weird as well coz ming aint here
we juz started singing
GO GO GO CHERRY
then titus so randomly ran over
we didn't know wat we're doing
then i couldn't play the zhouzhouzhouzhou livelyly
so haii sorrie peeps
i will practise harder
>.<

then it was so funny
wai man yee yee talked abt valentines day
amused ^_^
everyone got kinda hyped up coz we were talking abt V day
LOL
then we made some cards for por por gong gong
n ur valentine...ooooo
haha i dun hav a V so made a really ahem nice card for por por
hope she liked it
hehe >.<
think we made angel yee yee upset
haii ashamed
we should be less chatty nxt time
sighsighsigh

pt was kinda gd
sang a couple of songs
then listened to some cds
hehe we were quite organised
teehee :P

visit to the old folks home was kinda strange
it was cool but strange
didn't really know wat we're doing
so we kept singing
i think the por por gong gong were happy
hopefully

so overall
quite a cool day
but kinda blurr most of the time
haha maybe it's juz me
*shrugs shoulders*

lost

2006-02-03T19:30:00.000Z

i've finally lost the battle
the illness won and i've lost
feeling sick ar
>.<

like an eagle i will soar above the clouds

maybe

2006-02-02T16:34:00.000Z

maybe i juz cant be bothered
hav tried to meet expectations
n found out that i haven't
or
found out that there are more
maybe i juz wish i was little again
a little kid doesn't hav to think abt all this crap
maybe im juz avoiding my responsibilities
maybe im juz scared

i dun wanna grow up
but time is not letting me
someone once said that the beauty of time is that u hav to keep going
there's no second chances...
to me, time is cruel
yes, it cures, it mends wounds
but it's cruel
u hav to keep going
u cant say u wan another chance
u cant rest
u cant stop

certificates

2006-02-01T21:34:00.000Z

wat is the worth of a person?
how to measure the value of a person?
wat is worth lived life??

r qualifications so important??
is a person clever juz bcoz he has a phd?
is a person successful juz bcoz he gets paid lots?
is a life worth living bcoz....wat??

isn't this whole world about money and certificates?
a kind heart cant get u a job
a creative mind cant feed u
a cert can

wat is a person's worth...or should i say economical value to the world if he only has the intelligence, creativity, dilligence....
BUT not qualifications?
how will the world look at him?
a graduant from cambridge phd will be held with upmost respect
but will a person with equal skill n intelligence be even noticed??

u can preach and say GOd will know all this...
yes, GOD will reward those who follow his will...
u mite be one of the few that can survive with this in mind
but if every human believe it is enough to juz be rewarded in heaven
y are so manyleaving homes
leaving where they belong
leaving loved ones
coming to the uk
striving so hard they hav no time to eat
juz to be called a Dr??
(not saying EVERYone is leaving juz bcoz of this...but how many can say it's purely for knowledge??)

why??
ppl go on abt how we r not suppose to judge one by his skin, his religion, his cover....
this society is abt equality
but isn't a cert the same as one's cover?
dun ppl judge u by ur qualifications?
dun u buy a book coz it's an oscar winning bk??
if u show all ur awards, certs
who cares if ur an honest person
who cares if ur a morally gd person
if u had that peice of paper
who cares....

2006-01-30T16:35:00.000Z

happy new yr!!!
weeeheeeeheeee..................

saturday
awW.
the wedding was soooooo sweEET >.<
everythin...
the candles, the balloons, the music, the ribbons, the flowers
eeK >.<
fairy tales do happen sometimes...
don't they???

it was juz really cool.
everyone was in their pwettiest dress
smartest suits
with dazzling earrings n bracelets
nicest ties...with gelled hair
hahahahahahahaha....
i juz felt like digging a hole n hiding in it until everyone's gone
but dat would be stupid
-.-"

steamboat was YUMMY
there was so much to eat!!!
prawns, fishballs, noodles, veg, meat, meatballs, fish....
ate so much!!
so fun...
then went upstairs to sing
mucked abt...
n tobby's guitar is juz TOO COOL!!!!
tchiu bao!!!!

sunday
cool day
but crap at the same time
first of all got woken up so early in da morning by....
HMPH u know who u r
*sticks tongue out*
then haha guess wat!?!?!?!
tuition on new yrs day!!
but it was really useful.
su lee did such a gd job!!
*enlightened* lol

then had kids choir performance...
mucked up so much!!!
firstly, pei ling forgot to play the violin for the last bit,
then i mucked up,
then all the kids skipped a whole sentence
so i was juz playing randomly
hahaha...
but apparently my mum didn't notice...
so dat was gd
*smiles*
PT was gd other than...
having to retreat downstairs to the playroom...
cos we INVADED CHOIR TERRITORY (according to janet)
...it was cool.
i guess ming gor gor was right...
i shouldn't all get so worked up abt it
BUT
i juz dun get it...
u can say im rude
or im evil
i juz dun feel a single sorry for janet
not a single bit
maybe it's juz me...
i might stop hating her one day
i MIGHT...

then karaoke in shanghai was ahem ok la
these ppl were on the mic all night
wouldn't even let me n ivy sing juz one song
then skipped our turns 3 times...
n juz said it was a rubbish song
or it was an accident...
lol
me n pei ling retreated to the toilets!!!!
lol....we laughed so much...until ppl were like staring!!!
LOL

so it was a gd day...
i guess
other than the lack of space
n having to retreat to toilets n playroom
hahaha....

love

2006-01-28T09:08:00.000Z

why talk abt lurve??
maybe bcoz today is SS wedding day...
maybe bcoz the topic is always talked abt so often
maybe it's juz sumthing i believe in...

well juz luv in general
it can cause so many things to happen
n can cause so many things to not happen
it can cause more love around
yet it can cause so much hatred n jealousy
it can cause so much joy
yet so much pain
it can cause someone to change for the better
but it can also cause dat someone to change for the worse
it can make so much to happen
yet it can be so destructive

i suppose if lurve is not expressed in the right way
it would not be felt ....
dun u think lurve is so strange???

2006-01-26T16:51:00.000Z

*poof appears*
strange.
dunno y im even bloggin
coz there's nth to even talk abt

school was it's usual self.
WEIRD
kinda got pissed off with ma fren.
she's constantly telling us wat to do.
wat's better n wat's crap.
i know we're not very organised...
but plz...
we can think for ourselves
she planned out like every word we're gonna say in da debate
i mean y cant we juz make things up on da spot??
it's not like i dunno wat im talking abt
she juz too
SCARILY ORGANISED
-.-"

staying positive...
well
TRYING
not easy at all...
juz feel like giving up sometimes
currently so tired
been falling asleep on da bus
nearly missed my stop today
ZZzzzzz.................
*poof disappears*

2006-01-24T16:33:00.000Z

saturday:
nice n happy day.
went to old folks home
d por por gong gong
once again fill us up with YUMMY
CHOCOLATES n BISCUITS
*so embarrassed*
we forgot to bring sum gifts.

rmb dat porpor??
da one dat was once a phd??
da one dat cant hear or talk properly now??
y isn't she all complaining abt life?
complaining abt GOD??
complaining abt the world??

instead,
she is so filled with luv for us YOUNG ONES
she bought gifts for us
n always offer useful advice
where does she generate all dat luv for us strangers from??
we're strangers
YET these por por gong gong welcome us like
we're their children...

LOVE
such a fascinating thing

carol singing,
dis trip to old folks home,
wat titus wrote in his blog,
it reminds me of wat
GOD has given us
the most precious gift
his only SON
to be humiliated,
to suffer,
to die for OUR sins
all this is out of LOVE
pure LOVE

maybe
the only true way of not letting JESUS' sacrifice be wasted
is to
let this gift go on
to love all around u
whether they r those u love
or
those u dun really love
to try n embrace them with ur heart...

'love your neighbour as yourself'

2006-01-17T19:13:00.000Z

'be strong be bold'
'i've neva given up on u'
'give urself time'
'dun worry too much'
'GOd will lead a way'
'r u ok??'

such comforting words
so simple
YET
comforting

2006-01-15T20:35:00.000Z

yesterday was quite fun
birmingham
so cool la
randomly walked around town
bought sweets *SMILE*

then joined the birmingham fellowship
played many meaningful games
reminded me of my role
n how i should contribute more in fellowship

today
sunday school was gd
mainly sharing
but ended up getting a headache
n was really HUNGRY

praise team was haii
i think it was mainly my fault
i was juz pissed off n stuff
my mum is rite
i cant accept others being different
i expect everyone to hav the same reaction to things
i expect everyone to be as....
i dont know
i guess i should juz brghten up more
n not juz cry ova nothing
i guess everyone else is rite
we should be more focussed n there r ups n downs
if we're there to support each other we will get through together
i guess i juz expect too much
this aint heaven
we're human

ok. i'll change.

juz hope this isn't one of those promises i break
i m determined to keep this one >.<

2006-01-12T16:54:00.000Z

decided to blog today
for sum strange reason
...

haii skl's been ok
other than the fact dat teachers hav been bombarding us with tests, exams, more tests, coursewk...so tired
it's soo weird! we've been bak to skl for only abt a wk..
n im worn out already
-.-"

really need to finish off art cw
start doing eng cw
revise for german vocab test
revise for physics test
all this wkend...
WHEN
im suppose to be going to birmingham
to do wat???
I DO NOT KNOW

so guess my timetable for this wk fully filled up
work work work!!!

everyone is soo depressed!!
WHY?!?!?!?
i know one thing for sure
it's CONTAGIOUS
sighsighsigh

pei ling's ill.....
GET WELL SOON!!!
keeping u in my prayers~!!
n i guess lotsa ppl r worrying abt gcse options now
well my advice: follow ur heart
a pretty useless peice of advice i muz say

GO GO GO PRAISE TEAM!!!
cant wait till nxt practice
i believe in all of u!!!
stay UNITED
stay as ONE

2006-01-08T17:35:00.000Z

went to spain 4 da past week
sooooo amazed by the wonderful works of antoni gaudi
so amazed by how sumone could dedicate da last yrs of his life to building a church for GOD
so amazed by how humble he is...not boasting abt his wonderful achitecture
but praising GOD n saying dat:
man dun create
only GOD creates
n only by copying from nature
learning from the creator
can be the right way to go....
*ponders*

went to tuition yesterday
ming gor gor is hardworking ar
making me feel like im sooooo lazy
hmph
im not THAT lazy, m i???

then joined ivy, wilson, daniel, billy in singing sum praises
so happy
it's such a wonderful feeling!!!!
to be able praise GOD with ur frenz
with great guitarists, pianist, drummer...
it gives such joy...dat nothing else can bring
it's cool
wish we could sing like dat again soon
o yea, n daniel n his version of streams of praise
WAHAHAHAHA~

lead the lil kids in worship today
such big smiles
every single one of them sang
with joy
with a pure heart
it's great!!!

i may neva march in da infantry
ride in the calvary
shoot this atillery
i may neva zoom o'er the enemy
but im in the lord's army
YES SIR!!!!!

it's great
we're soldiers of GOD
standing up for our beliefs
fighting till the end

had sunday school
sum great reminders of how our praise team should be
n how we could continue to please GOD in our everyday lives

then had praise team
pretty cool
not as focus as last wk
but ok la

n SOWWIE CHERRY
if u see this
im so SORRIE
sorry for bombarding u with suggestions
sorry for be bossy (maybe?)
sorry for making u feel like u aren't the rightful leader
i didn't mean it to be like dat
i really didn't
i was trying to admit my weaknesses (as i hav loads)
im so sorry if im made u feel uneasy
i really am
im sooooooo SORRY
plz forgive me...
IM SORRY

i guess dat's all i hav to say
n SORRY CHERRY
SORRIE >.<

plz if i eva make anyone feel uneasy or angry
plz tell me.......
i'll try to change
i'll try i promise

ok la
shud go n study le
byebye~!!

2006-01-01T21:08:00.000Z

wow
a new beginning for a new yr
2005 has gone
byebye~

2006 has come~!!
had such a great day today

felt GOD's presence
felt GOD's grace
felt GOD's amazing lurve

started a new fellowship
a new tradition
sumthing we wanna keep going
sumthing we wanna share

chose our fellowship song
ONE VOICE
i lurve dat song
it gives such a sense of unity
we all come from diff places
but to be able to sit together in the same church
in the same town
in the same country
at the same time
to worship HIM together
it's TRULY God's grace

let us be one voice dat glorifies ur name
let us be one voice declaring dat u reign
let us be one voice in lurve n harmony
n we pray o GOD grant us unity

we started our own praise team (PT or TP wateva wilson calls it)
we started singing together
though we r young
n crap(?)
n ignorant
GOD lets us praise him with our voices
GOD dun need us 4 him to be glorified
being able to praise n worship him is grace

i thank GOD with deepest gratitude for this praise team
i thank GOD for giving me a voice to be able to sing praise to him
i thank GOD 4 every single one of us in the praise team
cherry pei ling twiggy katie titus henry mandy n me(haha)
n those who hav helped to let this start...(so many lost count ^^)

this yr is a new yr
with new excitement
new responsibilities
new obstacles
new troubles
BUT
may we face these UNITED as ONE
may we face these TOGETHER
with PRAYER
coz there's nothing
NOTHING!!!!
OUR DADDY up there cant do
let us
overcome new problems
celebrate new acheivements

n to rmb to
praise GOD
with a pure heart 4 worship
with all dat we hav

2005-12-31T10:55:00.000Z

it's time, again, to say goodbye
this yr has passed scarily quickly
it's the end of 2005 already

i rmb
@ da beginning of da yr
glory, titus, sumtimes pei ling, wilson n me had to get to church so early in da morning
we wud sit there moliu-ing n doing random things
then we wud start doing sum hw...
n sumtimes we wud go play da piano
glory wud start playing his really kl beethoven peice...
titus wud then say he has no talents...until he found the drum kit
wilson wud start "being cool" playing the electric guitar n singing his usual hillsongs...
if pei ling came...she wud defo be annoyed by glory already
wahahahaha~

rmb da spring camp
we were so hyper!!!!
i started laughin so much during dinner...wee~
glory joined me in the laughing marathon!!!!
hahahaha~
we kept staying in dat smelly place
playing TT n pool
i started whacking hen's head..
n omg shirl n hen joinnig forces at TT is SCARY!!!
teen ha mo dik
then @ nite we wud all gather @ glory n hen's rm...
to play cards, to tell ghost sotries which quickly turned into jokes..
o of coz ...to c pei ling get annoyed by glory
it was lotsa fun i mux say...
cant wait till nxt spring camp!!!

o n of coz
we worked so hard for sats
thought so hard abt wat subjects to take
studied so hard 4 my theory exam....
i think i passed blue belt in tkd too!!!

although i muz say
it wasn't all happy n wonderful
there were arguements, fights, hatred
but we all overcome these
with strength n understanding
with great frenz who were always there 4 us
TTHANK U

2005 was a great yr..
n i shall miss it dearly
may all da great memories give me strength to face the new yr ahead
whoohooo...
2006 here i cum....
WEE~

2005-12-25T10:01:00.000Z

' xmas is not juz abt prezzies '
'xmas is abt sharing n giving '
' xmas is abt sharing the luv God has showed us '
dat's wat they all say....

to me,
xmas is abt giving n receiving prezzies from ur lurved ones
xmas is abt gobbling up a huge n yummy roasted chicken
xmas is abt being crazy with all my dearest frenz
xmas is abt sharing n lurving those i already lurve
XMAS IS MEANT TO BE JUZ FUN!!!

this xmas, however, it's probz the first time i really thot abt the
TRUE MEANING OF XMAS
all the giving n sharing is rather superficial...
n quite selective...
in the past, i've only found the easiest way of GIVING n SHARING
i've neva thot of picking up a challenge...
well this year, i didn't hav a choice...
the choice choose me...

last nite, abt 30 of us went carolling
10 of us went to the old folks home...
i was one of those 10 ppl

we set out at abt 5 30,
relunctantly putting on our santa claus hats...
taking slow steps...
having last min preparations on the way...
approx 15 mins later,
we came to the grey n dull building...
THE OLD FOLKS HOME
we were welcomed by warm smiles,
abt 10 to 20 por por n gong gong we're sitting in the lounge...
trying to past this lonely time of xmas...
many of them hav already went home from xmas
n the remaining ones...
r to spend a lonely n cold xmas...

we got into our positions
preparing for our first song...
but these gong gong porpor stopped us b4 we started...
they ushered us to nice cushoined seats at the dining table
n served us with sum noodles n LOTS of chocolates
they had to make sure we were full n feeling comfy...
n it was after quite a while b4 we got to start our songs...
we got into our positions again...
'A-way in th-e manger......'

we sang horribly...
none of our first note were the same...
disaster!!! wait a min...
d por por gong gong r actually singing along!!!
they mite not b able to sing well...
but
those smiles show the deepest gratitude n childlike happiness...
i tried hard...VERY hard to hold tears bak...

then we played a few games...mainly singing games...
these por por gong gong r juz lil kids!!!!
they're 80 yea...but they're as sharp as....err
well they're sharper than us!!!!

then we were told to talk to the por por gong gong
a por por caught my eye...
irene was already talking to her...
well talking with writing
this porpor has v bad hearing...
can hardly talk..
so the only way is by writing...
......................................
underneath that wrinkled n old skin..
a very viliant n bright young spirit is shown...
if only u let her...
irene n i...
tried our best to listen to her...
we found out dat she is acutally a phd...
she has many pics with the queen...
n how she was lurved by many
BUT
she's old...n useless..(she said)
now they dump her in an old folks home
to live alone...
to spend time alone
to die alone...

all these porpor gong gong
all hav a story to tell...
if u wud listen...

i think i've truely understood the
TRUE MEANING OF XMAS..
it's giving all ur hav...
to those u may not necessary lurve...
give them juz 10 mins...
u could bring a smile bak to that face...

n i thot this xmas...
i'll be learning abt giving...
i've also learnt dat...
wen u r willing to give...
u will learn to receive even more...

i thank GOd 4 this xmas...
for lurving us...worthless rebels..
for giving his life...
for us...

n may this gift go on....

2005-12-23T13:10:00.000Z

so much going through my mind

worried sick abt my mocks, ict, rs n deutsch
plz pray 4 me...
my mocks r on the 1st n 2nd day
i cannot fail! >.<
i've already disappointed my parents...
my piano teacher
my fwenz?
i cant let them down again...

STRESSED >.<

2005-12-15T22:22:00.000Z

yippi!!!
xmas in abt a weeks time!!!!!
yay! cant wait!!
hope it will snow ^^

has been a stressful wk...
had my mock german speaking
eonomics test
countless number of coursewk
BUT
it's all ova!!!! *hopeful look*

wonder when im gonna get my piano results bak...hopefully soon
i wanna stop worrying!!!!

for sum strange reason...
i hav so much in me dat i wanna say..
BUT
i juz dun know how to spill it all out
*speechless*
hav lots on my mind

o yea
im BROKE!!
>.< i still need to get prezzies
haii haii haii............

dis year has been scarily quick
im 15
doing GCSEs
hav already been in UK for almost 3 yrs
almost time to go home.....
shud i be happy??

2005-12-05T16:45:00.000Z

no words can describe

no ruler can measure

no pen can write

no music can express

blank

2005-12-04T20:32:00.000Z

another stressful week coming ahead...

plz pray 4 me...*smiles* first of all my piano exam...dead worried abt everything especially my aural and sight reading...*nervous* i shall practise hard these 2 days...n put everything else in God's hands...

gonna take my german mock gcse exam next wednesday...speaking. super worried abt dat too...n my economics test...plz pray for dat too...

hopefully i can play for the choir well n not muck up everything...gonna be watching the lion da witch n da wadrobe nxt sunday...CANT WAIT!!!

im feeling hyper!!!!!! *BIG SMILES*

2005-12-01T16:32:00.000Z

today is one of da days where life juz seems pointless... i really hate myself when i think dat way...but i juz cant help it today. i've been feeling so left out @ skl these days...probz coz camy haven't been going home with me...coz she moved.. n oli n amy neva rmbs to wait 4 me...i've been so moody these days...after children's choir, after practising piano, on da way home....anyday anytime...i wanna be hyper!!! even tried smelling da bins to make myself hyper again...worked for a while then went to bak to being depressed...haih. i hate it when i get all depressed over nth...

i hate myself

2005-11-17T23:12:00.000Z

HAPPY BELATED BDAY 2 ME!!

lol. da numba 15 is still not sinking in...i dun feel 15...but then again i dun feel 14 either...im juz in between??

*takes a deep breath* thanx sooooo much to everyone!!!!!!!!!! got sooo many prezzies...thanx to those who put thot into the prezzie...it doesn't matter how big or small the prezzie is...it's da thot dat counts!! SMILES :):):)

juz wanna say a big THANX to pris...thanx for remembering...n 4 da piggy...i shall cherish it as much as i cherish our friendship...i find dis such a pleasant thot: although we're miles away, wheneva i look at the moon at nite...it's da same moon ur lookin at too...i luv ya THIS much *BIG HUG* :):)

juz had gcse chem n bio todayz...chem was ok la...but i think i flunked bio...bio is sooo super hard!!!!!!!!!!!! *sigh* bet im gonna fail my german speaking... it's in abt a month? help! really gona flunk dat....haih.

*sighsighsigh* everyone's getting those spot thingys....is it ezima?? or is it a disease?? wateva it is...get well soon to everyone...esp. glory!! rmb, hitting urself is da best solution!!! stops da itching...n spreads weirdness to da world!!! wooooo!! go me!!

started playing basketball in pe!!! YIPPI!!!!!!!!! other dan we dun hav a proper basketball court n basket...es ist ECHT SUPER!!!! YAY!!

gonna be playing for fellowship on sat... *worried* danquan said he would help so...knowing my piano skills...i hope i dun do anything disastrous.... *innocent look*

KEEP SMILING :):):)

2005-10-31T12:04:00.000Z

lol. half term was crap...but i enjoyed it!! lol. weirdo me.
the week was quite crap...basically hw...n msn..o yea..went to billy n IG's graduation...how long will it take for me to reach dat day...*thinks*

wkends was MUCH BETTER!! went to tuition...ahem...ming gor gor was soooo funny la..he's weird..but funny. fellowship was quite interesting actually..bible study on psalms...i still think the psalmist wanted to the evil ppl...sandy jiejie came!!! missed her sooo much!!

lol. yesterday i was sooo hyper!!! lost ma voice but i still talked sooo much...irene por por keep laughin @ my voice...hmph...

lol poor twiggy...me n pei ling kept throwing our scarves @ her...lol. n lol i didn't notice paulson was sitting there...i thot it his bag was sum other gal's bag...oops. i luv the 1st song we were singing during worship...we were all holding n waving our hands in the air n singing..(see i lost my voice even more) but i luv dat song!! after sevice, quite 'mo liew'...sat there doing nth...hmph glory!!! i h8 u!! ur sooo tall!!! n stop looking down at me...im not THAT short!!!! juz coz ur tall. hmph. n hen is also v. tall....hmph.

n erm...y did twiggy n cherry hav to go home early??? wished u could stay....everyone...n i mean EVERYONE...including pei ling, jay-hen, ian, kt, chloe, glory, paulson, sandy jiejie, ming gor gor, ivy, irene, me, n alll da adults went to hare n tortoise restaurant....lol we filled almost the whole place!!!! couldn't finish dinner...everyone was being mean clicking their fingers every 3 sec...n saying a child in africa died...made me feel sooo guilty...i tried...i really hav. hmph. took so many random pix with paulson's fone...pei ling simply refused to let glory take a pic of her...no comment. ming gor gor is sooo weird...kept pulling pei ling's hair!!! lol..laughed alot!!! hahahahahaha......................

o n, glory n i started weirdo club so plz sign up...by emailling me or glory...plz include reasons y u wanna join n how u plan spread weirdness to the world!!

n dat was d end to my 1/2 term....

2005-10-27T23:59:00.000+01:00

the lesson to be learnt b4 it's too late...

FReNZ r dA mOSt pReCiOUs tHInG U CUd EVa hAV...
dUn tAKE dEm FOR gRaNtED If PPL R kInd 2 U, rEturN tHeIR kIndNESS, nOT USE THAT 2 iNsUlt tHEm!! LeArN 2 rEsPECt uR fReNZ, eLSE u'LL SoON eND uP LOoSING THEm

wE CAN ALL 4GIV A FEW TIMES, MAYB EVEN A 100 TIMES..BUT WEN ITS rEACHED ITS POINT...WE JUZ ALL EXPLODE..ND CNT TAKE IT NYMORETREAT UR FRIENDS WIF THE UPMOST RESPECT , NT SUM DIRTY OLD RAGS FOUND ON DA STREET ONCE HURT, THE WOUND MAY NOT HEAL ...

DO NOT TAKE UR FRIENDS FOR GRANTED THEY MITE NT EXIST AFTER A WHILE....

DNT LIE 2 DEM EITH...U'LL BETRAY THEIR TRUST....

thnx 2 all my frenz, those who supported me n comforted me wen im down

LUV YA ALL LOTS ND LOTS!!
MY WORLD WUD B NTH WITHOUT U !!

the day

2005-10-24T10:50:00.000+01:00

half term officially begins!! yippi!!!

wat happened @ church yesterday was scary. dun wanna say it here...pei ling n i were trembling...n i juz couldn't stop tears streaming down...it was sooooo scary...neva in my life hav i heard such a frightening scream...it was horrible...

thank u sooooo much to all of those who hav offered comforting words..i really appreciate it...LUV YA ALL

there was a disciple class reunion after service...n there we were...'mo liew gun', stoning, doing random things, playing n singing random songs...it really seemed like ages ago when we used to do dat everywk. memories...

'da bin low' was fun...n we played 'mm hi mar gum gwai ee'...really 'mo liew'...but i thot it was more interesting than monopoly which we played after...all those rules...gosh! when we play it among ourselves, we hav random rules...n lol tax days...n charity days...LOL

it was a v. weird day...lots of tears, laughter, lots of memories...i felt so sorry when it was over...

2005-10-21T22:22:00.000+01:00

YIPPI!!! 1/2 term!! i can sleep all i like!!!!!!!
went to pizza hut with cam n soph..then to cammy's...
took soooo many silly pix...

[left2right]soph camy me

me...duhH

yum...lol [in case u haven't noticed..it's pepper, salt, chilli, cheese, bits of leftova pizza, tango]
lol. cant stop laughin....

2005-10-11T21:26:00.000+01:00

1.What time is it now?2126 hrs
2.What is your full name? berakah ying-xin ho
3.Single or taken? single
4.What does your name mean? berakah=blessing
5.Who picked out your name? my parents
6. What is your nickname? berry, dim sum
7.How old are you? 14 turning 15 nst month
8.What colour are your eyes?brownish black
9.shoe size?7
10.How tall (or short) are you?163cm TALL (: hahahaha.
11.Honestly what do you like about yourself?dunno.
12.What do you always get complimented on? weirdness??
13.What is your worst quality?dunno. u tell me
16.What are the last four digits of your phone1?5334
17.Do you think you're cute? no.
18.Hair colour?brownish black
19.Do you wear contacts? no wen will i get them....
20.Living Arrangements? with ma parents
~*FAVOURITES*~
21.Favourite Drink? anything dat could quench ma thirst
22.Favourite alcoholic Drink? no idea
23.Favourite Month?november
25.Favourite Board Game? reversi
26.Favourite Web Site?my blog..lol
27.Clothing Brand?no certain brand
28.Favourite day of the Year? 11th nov
29.Favourite colour? sky blue
30.Favourite Animal?bunnies
31. more girl or boy friends?gals duh.
32.Who's your best friend?err...cammy
33.Are your parents together?yeah.
34.How often do you get together with the family?officially once a week
35.Do you tell your parents or your friends more?FRIENDS!
36.Anything special about your parents?they're like ma bro n sis sumtimes
37.Siblings and their ages? nil
~*YES OR NO*~
38.You're a flirt?hopefully not. dont want to be.
40.You're Mean?try not to be.
41.You like someone?errr
42.You can keep secrets?yea
43.You dance in front of the mirror?uh i dun dance.
45.You sing in the shower?sumtimes
46.You've liked Britney Spears?think so
47.You've liked a cousin?nope.
48.You've been in the opposite sexes bathroom? yea lol...ours is cleaner
49.You've seriously hurt someone?hope not.
50.You've been hurt seriously?not really
51.You get your way?sumtimes
53.You're willing to try new things?depends.
54.You've cheated on a test?hahahaha. yea.
55. smoked?no n neva will
57.What colour are your pants?not tellin
58. what are you listening to?clicking of the mouse
59. How are you feeling?tired...Zzzzz
.60.What are you doing?'doing hw'
61.What are you eating?not eating
62.How many people are online?5
63..How's the weather?boiling.
64.What's on your mouse pad?mouse?
65.What books are you reading? of mice n men @ skool
~*GIRLS&BOYS*~
66.whats your favourite hangout place ?random
67.What perfume do you use?dun use perfume.
68.What's in your purse/pocket?nth
69.Tall or short boys/girls?guys who are taller than me duh.
70.Blonde or brunette guys/girls?dun like blondes.
71.Good or bad boy/girl?good boy (: hehe
72.Boxers showing?erm no.
73.Long hair or short hair on boys?short
74.What do you find annoying in a guy/girl? wen they're annoying...*AHEM* u know who u r
75.What's the first thing you notice aboutguys/girls? smile

lol..im officially tired NOW....ZZzzzz